So, I started my new book on tape. Yes, I know it's not a tape. It's a CD. It's like when I hear a new song I say "Hey, Aerosmith has a new album out!" I know it's CD, or a download or YouTube thingy. It just sounds right. This, I guess, marks the beginning of my outdatedness. Like when my mom uses her "Mastercharge" to buy something, or when my grandparents asked for the "clicker" to change the channel, or when my ex mother in law asked for extra rolls of film to go with the new digital camera. I will never forget my child's little face light up when I told her she could use my Magic Marker! Priceless. Until she realized it was just a Sharpie. Pricelesser. My kids think I am soooo out of style. Hell, I'm so hip that I even took my kids to pop tags at the thrift shops long before Macklemore sang about it. They did not find it cool or pimpin' then. They were horrified and repulsed. Five shirts for five dollars! Oh well. Haters gonna hate.
So, anyway, I started my new book on tape. It's the biography of Steve Jobs and I'm fascinated already for so many reasons. Did you know that when Steve Jobs was young, he was a vegitarian, his hobby was doing LSD, he quit college to meditate in India, and he was an offensive stinky guy who rarely showered and didn't wear shoes. That, my friends, is what it takes to become a billionaire. It would have never been me. I could never be a vegitarian.
I wouldn't want to be a billionaire either. I'm happy being a thousandaire. Who calls earbuds "headphones" and Post Its "sticky notes," gas stations "ice houses," and was told not to call anyone "Boo" anymore. Because I do it wrong. At least I tried to twerk. I failed. I think my joints just don't move like that anymore. Whatever. YOLO.
