I think it is very important to teach your children survival skills. Mine can create meals from what little is in the pantry before payday, coerce their teachers into extra credit when they are failing, and steal each other's clothes without detection.
As a single mom with three daughters, my children have also learned a skill that I call "Survival of the Sweetest," which sport is also know as "The Munchkin Games."
Most recently, after growing bored of being my center of attention during graduation, Eldest Child, when asked to clean her room, committed a technical foul which got her ass ejected from the game, and sent straight to her room.
Youngest Child quickly went to work at the free throw line and created the following, once again reclaiming her position as MVP:
She has learned to use cuteness as a weapon, and armed with only 1,10023 exquamashon marx in her love letter, she found herself victorious. A slam dunk was made by combining true love and a drawing of me with thin arms, while skillfully omitting the thighs altogether.
Unfortunately, Middle Child, in a flawless stealth-like rebound, slept all day after a late night sleepover and took the lead by proving to be The Quiet Child, earning herself a three point trip to the mall without her sisters. The old "Seen and Not Heard" move is a timeless Munchkin Games classic, which is always appreciated, especially when mom has a headache.
In an effort to get back in the game in the fourth quarter, Eldest Child agreed to clean her room, but let the team down by taking a nap instead. Even though she is my Allstar, she will be benched the next two games, and, if she continues to play poorly, could possibly become a free agent or traded for a hamster.
It's a well known fact that reading, writing and arithmetic can only get you so far in this kid eat kid world. If you want to survive, respect your grown ups!
Let the Munchkin Games begin! May the odds be ever in your favor! And don't forget: A brown nose will get you a gold star every time.
