The Bio

I am a Paralegal and a Mom. I type a lot and drive small people around. I get called "Annoying" on a daily basis and have decided that that word must mean "Sexy." My hobbies all include napping. My favorite drug is coffee, but my doctor just said I have to quit. My second favorite drug is laughter, but my doctor is the only person that thinks I'm funny. I'm currently looking for a new drug. I am disgusted with the State of Texas but I can't leave until the kids are grown. I have nightmares about uneducated, unethical people. They always have banjos. When I grow up I want to be young. Like my men. Raising three daughters as a single mom has taught me the meaning of life, the meaning of unconditional love, that grounding my kids for not cleaning their room after the housekeeper just cleaned mine is one of my superpowers, and that there really is a chance that since they call me "Annoying", and they know they look and act exactly like me, that the word "Annoying" really does mean "Sexy."

The Passion

How many of you have said things in the heat of passion that you regret?  There are NO take backs.  There are NO do overs.  You and your partner are forever stuck with irreversible words.  Some words like "I love you" leave you feeling guilty as you are cursed with the knowledge that you have toyed with the other person's heart and emotions.  In my case, words like "Let's go camping this weekend!" left me feeling like a freaking idiot who is going to freeze to death in a tent, and am cursed with the knowledge that I have toyed with the other person's image of me as an energetic, adventurous outdoorsy chick.  There are NO take backs.  There are NO do overs. There is no shower.  There is no WiFi.  Please remove my flannel and hiking boots if open casket is necessary.       

The Reader

Exhausted from a long day, I walked from room to room last night, and saw Julia reading a huge blue SAT Prep book, Sam on her Ipad reading fan fiction, and Maya on the last pages of her Junie B. Jones book. I was so proud that I had passed on my love for reading to my children. I patted myself on the back, closed my door, snuggled into bed, and turned on the T.V.

The Blog

"The Blog" sounds so much like "The Blob" and I see why as I sit on my ass in front of the computer writing all day.  Did you know the ass was strategically placed out of a person's line of vision for a reason?  Yep, self esteem.  I plan to be more like The Blob and eat everything that stands in my way. Metaphorically speaking, of course.  It has been a long, rough, bitch of a journey.  It hasn't killed me.  It hasn't made me stronger.   Pretty sure that means I'm a Zombie.  So, next time you see me, RUN, don't walk, because just like The Blob, I am indescribable, indestructable, and nothing can stop me!  Ya - not true.  That was the self esteem talking.  Because I'm still sitting on my ass.  Welcome to The Blog.