When I arrived at my office building today, I noticed, as the elevator doors closed, a sign that read "Take Your Dog to Work Day." I realized, as the elevator doors opened again, there has never been a "Take Your CHILD to Work Day." I guess everyone knows that children are, well... okay like dogs crap all over the floor and there has still never been a "Take Your Child to Work Day."
Children are challenging. There should be an Olympic sport for moms called "Whatthefuckjusthappened." The rules are as follows: Stay calm, loving, sane and rational until the finish line. In lieu of a gold medal, the winner is awarded hair dye, hot flashes, and a lovely permanent line indented between her eyebrows.
Teenagers are relentless. My little Estrogenizer Bunnies just keep going and going and going and it's frightening to my nine year old. She freaked out last week because she cried, and then laughed. That's all. She cried, and then laughed. "I think I have PMS! I think I have PMS!" she ran around the house screaming. As if laughing, then crying were the gateway emotions to hell. They are, unfortunately. They are. And there is nowhere to go but up.
So up I go, to the seventh floor and I smile a little as the elevator doors open to my office. Because I know I am alone - without dog, without child. Serenity now, with a side of black coffee. TGIF.
Children are challenging. There should be an Olympic sport for moms called "Whatthefuckjusthappened." The rules are as follows: Stay calm, loving, sane and rational until the finish line. In lieu of a gold medal, the winner is awarded hair dye, hot flashes, and a lovely permanent line indented between her eyebrows.
Teenagers are relentless. My little Estrogenizer Bunnies just keep going and going and going and it's frightening to my nine year old. She freaked out last week because she cried, and then laughed. That's all. She cried, and then laughed. "I think I have PMS! I think I have PMS!" she ran around the house screaming. As if laughing, then crying were the gateway emotions to hell. They are, unfortunately. They are. And there is nowhere to go but up.
So up I go, to the seventh floor and I smile a little as the elevator doors open to my office. Because I know I am alone - without dog, without child. Serenity now, with a side of black coffee. TGIF.
