The Association

Dear Homeowner's Association Guy That Came To My House While I Was At Work,

Why do you only send me a letter when my lawn looks bad?  Recently, I spent a bunch of time working on my yard but you didn't send me a letter saying that my lawn looks super pretty.  I respond soooo much better to positive reinforcement.  You know that I'm a single working mom with a very full and busy life.  And you, well, since we are being so invasive and honest with each other, are old, obviously unhappy, and have an abundance of free time on your hands.  What you need, my dear, is to feel useful, because well, let's face it, you're not.  And you need endorphins, you know, so you can be pleasant when you insist small children sign for letters berating their mommy.  I am not very handy with yardwork, it's true, but I have always been empathetic and amazing at helping others. So please, let me help you.  Hmmm... let's see... ya need to feel useful, and gain endorphins.... I know!   YOU should mow my fucking lawn. 

Sincerely,

Rachelle

The Tombstone

I am insulted when people try to fix me. Especially when I haven't asked for assistance in correcting whatever they believe to be the error in my ways.  It took me many years to be confortable with myself and my unique opinions, feelings and beliefs. I hate to quote Popeye, but I am what I am. I want this on my tombstone.  Well, maybe "I was what I was."  My views are my own, they are very personal, and although I am interested in hearing what others have to say, if their agenda is to change me, I tend to either shut down or put my dukes up.  Many years ago I had an argument I will never forget. On this occasion, with musicians. As usual, I was outnumbered physically, not mentally, and evidently, I lost. I still however, to this day, firmly believe with all my heart:  There is no right or wrong in air guitar!!!  Put that on my tombstone too.  Along with "You may now feel free to fix me."

The Text

For those of you who have children, and, like me, have always feared losing their little baby's love when he or she grows up, I don't think you have to worry.  My 17 year old may not have time to spend with me as she is dreadfully busy with school, friends and work, but she still finds time to call, and actually texts me several times a day.  In fact, many times she adds those cute little emoji symbols like hearts, smiley faces, roses and kissy faces at the end of her text messages. Although it's true each time she is asking for money, I know it is just her way of saying "I love you."  Because she adds a kissy face.  My heart is full.