Dear Homeowner's Association Guy That Came To My House While I Was At Work,
Why do you only send me a letter when my lawn looks bad? Recently, I spent a bunch of time working on my yard but you didn't send me a letter saying that my lawn looks super pretty. I respond soooo much better to positive reinforcement. You know that I'm a single working mom with a very full and busy life. And you, well, since we are being so invasive and honest with each other, are old, obviously unhappy, and have an abundance of free time on your hands. What you need, my dear, is to feel useful, because well, let's face it, you're not. And you need endorphins, you know, so you can be pleasant when you insist small children sign for letters berating their mommy. I am not very handy with yardwork, it's true, but I have always been empathetic and amazing at helping others. So please, let me help you. Hmmm... let's see... ya need to feel useful, and gain endorphins.... I know! YOU should mow my fucking lawn.
Sincerely,
Rachelle
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