The Name

So, apparently my name is "Mommy Mommy Mommy Mommy Mommy Mommy Mommy."  I love being a mom. More than anything in the world really.  Motherhood has shown me the meaning of life, humbled me, and is the very reason I was put on this Earth. But I was assured at some point before I bred that my new name would only have two syllables.  

I always said that I wished my name was "Dad" so short and chipper, as in "Hey Dad, pull my finger!"  And I know what you're thinking, but dude, it's better than "Mommy Mommy Mommy Mommy Mommy Mommy Mommy, the cat puked on the floor!"

I tried explaining to them that there was only one "Mommy" in my name. They thought that was funny.  I tried saying their name twenty times in a row to demonstrate how aggravating it was. They thought that was funny too. 

I am also referred to as "Butt Mom" by the way.  Every time they argue with me.  "BUT MOM! That's not fair! She started it."  I tell them that my name is not "Butt Mom" and I walk away. They don't think that is funny, but they look confused long enough for me escape the ruckus. 

In an effort to preserve my sanity, I informed my babies that I will only answer to "Your Majesty."  "Your majesty, I lost my homework again."  "Your majesty, my sister pulled my hair!"  I smile all day. 

This has royally changed my life. It has brought order to my castle. And I know what your thinking, but dude, don't judge the Queen.